Eeep.
I have all the "normal" feelings of bittersweet excitement and nervousness. And I might write about them after I get over these first-day-of-school jitters.
But, today? Let's talk about me, instead.
Because, you know what? Starting school is WAY more stressful on parents than on the kids.
And because I have a secret fear I need to share with you: I'm afraid of the Other Mothers.
No, really. I'm freaked out about having to socially interact with other moms. So far, in my limited experience, I've found that I'm really not very good at it.
I know this might sound a little weird coming from someone who babbles about her life and thoughts to anyone with an Internet connection, but: I'm an introvert. I do most of my living in my head or in my small select circle of loved ones.
The ZenHusband is - as he is so many ways - my Balance. He's an extrovert - the original never-met-stranger, comfortable-in-any-situation, go-with-the-flow kinda guy. When we're together, his outgoing personality lets me ease into situations and his presence makes it easier for me to be more social, too.
But when it's just me ...
Well, one of my very best friends can tell you that the second time we met - oh so many years ago! - her impression was that I was snobbish and rude - I'm neither, I swear! :) - because I was so stand-offish and unsociable. When, really, I was just shy and uncomfortable and very in-my-own-head that day. Typical.
Fortunately, we got the chance to get to know each other better over time and now she knows what an amazing and wonderful person I really am. ;)
But, yeah, I guess it's safe to say that I don't always make a great first impression in new social groups.
The funny thing is that I can be very outgoing in some specific situations. But, most of the time, I'm reserved, quiet, and more into doing my own thing in my own little world than in "normal" social interaction.
So, yeah, basically, I'm Sybil.
Moving on.
So, how does my situational introversion apply to the Minion starting kindergarten?
Oh, holy hell, people, grade school is a social MINEFIELD for the introverted parent!
Birthday parties, field trips, sports, after-school groups, student performances, room mothers, phone trees ... these things scare the ever-lovin' crap outta me.
Don't get me wrong, I mean, I want the Minions to have school friends and play soccer and take martial arts and learn music and act in their school play and whatever other activities interest them.
I love the idea of "participating" ... but the application intimidates me.
And, from what I've seen so far, some of those Other Mothers really freak me out ...
- I just can't relate to Crafty Carla, who keeps her glue guns and glitter in a shoulder holster and who painstakingly handcrafts personalized Arbor Day cards for every kid in the class ...
- I have nothing in common with Helen Homemaker, who bakes gourmet, organic, non-allergenic cupcakes from scratch for the whole class for little Joey's "half-birthday" ...
- And who wants to try to keep up with Judy Joiner, whose kids are in so many sports and clubs and activities that they need their own personal assistants just to stay on schedule ...
- I can't imagine having anything to say to Academic Annie, whose kid is so much smarter and more talented that yours, but who will be glad to tell you all about her birth-to-5 plan to raise a super genius, even though it's too late for your over-the-hill kindergartner ...
- and don't even get me started on Holy Heather, who can't decide if she wants to "save" my heathen Minions or just have us all burned at the stake at the next church potluck. We have those in spades around here.
Do. Not. Want.
*sigh*
Maybe I'll get lucky and meet a Blogging Betsy or a Slacker Suzy and we can snark about the Alpha-Moms over coffee at an Internet cafe while we should be cleaning our houses.
LOL~~this is one of the funniest post i have read in a long time~~as a former teacher you have nailed every teacher's worst nightmare for home room mothers~~i swear to god, those mothers were the mothers of every freakin class i ever taught~~you will do just fine~just remember, their $hit stinks, just like yours and rise above them and let them smell your a$$hole
ReplyDeleteI bet you'd get along with Geeky Gabrielle, too!
ReplyDelete~M
Different angle: just because the kids will be social doesn't mean the mothers have to be. Think about it: ZH probably has some friends who are married to women that you either find annoying or don't have much in common with, right? That doesn't stop him from being friends with them, does it?
ReplyDeleteSure, it would be easier if you met a kindred spirit in the pickup zone, but it's not the end of the world if you don't.
Here's the thing: you meet people all the time who are very different from you, yet somehow you make the best of it and socialize as necessary. The school thing will be no different.
OMG How did you write what is in my head? I thought the last four years of school were hard, I can't wait to try to get to know the moms here. I have to admit this is a fairly upscale area we've plunked our renting selves in (hey they have the best school...) I'm still wearing jeans that were in fashion the FIRST time they were cool and ponytails everyday. Not sure that I'm going to be comfy around miss just stepped out of a Lily Pulitzer catalog. Preview day for school is next Thursday. I'm used to observing Mrs Gucci and Prada - from afar across the lobby. I used the fact they spoke German and I didn't to keep my distance.
ReplyDeleteI can't use that one anymore though. I can get cool and social by then right?
Second grade is rough...
The way you describe yourself is the way I would describe me. I'm an introvert, preferring my own company to any others and often feeling uncomfortable when around other moms. Yet, I'm a pretty good conversationalist and can appear to be outgoing, even though I'm really not. I dread having to interact with other moms once Liv starts Kindergarten next year.
ReplyDeleteSee See So Me: Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your comment! It helps to know you're not alone. :)
ReplyDeleteM: You do know me so well. ;)
SFD: Good advice, really. But, I'm still a little freaked out.
Andrea: Oh my, I would not do well AT ALL amongst the Gucci and Prada!
Gwen: It's so much harder than some people realize just to go through the motions of the basic social nice-ities sometimes, isn't it?
As I am reading this, I was wondering how I will be when my daughter goes to school. I am guessing that I will copy and pasting this post from you.
ReplyDeleteGreat read. Made me think and laugh.
I am right with you sista. Taking it from Inappropriate Ingrid (it's the only i name I could come up with)I do not do well with the mom groups. I usually end up insulting their outfit or telling their kids to shut up
ReplyDeleteEeep, indeed. Not being a parent, never thought of how stress-inducing that would be. Good luck! And congratulations to the little one.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post.
ReplyDeleteI completely get this. Fortunately for me, I'm able to use the "single working mother" excuse. Lucky for me, no one ever asks anything of me because they all say, "I don't know how you do it" with that sad, poor-you look on their faces.
Yeah. Heh. Poor me.
Other moms scare the crap out of me too (especially the scrapbooking super crafty variety).
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the title - one of the best old country songs there is.
Awww. Thanks guys. It really is awesome to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks this stuff. ;)
ReplyDeleteYet again, you are me! I will share some fun class mom stories with you later.
ReplyDeleteHeather, my love, I keep *telling* you we are soul mates! ;)
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what it's got to be like having to worry about other moms.
ReplyDeleteYou just stay strong, and be Zen. Which is probably your plan anyway, and me pointing it out makes no difference, because I mean, come on. It's you.
If it makes you fell any better, all those other mom's husbands are cheating on them.
ReplyDeleteHa! Trooper! You just made liquid shoot out my nose. Thanks. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm like you - at times introverted, and people misinterpret that as me being a snob. Other times, I'm totally outgoing and flirty - and moms and school steer clear of me lest people "talk". Oy! Basically, it's been very hard for me to make friends with moms at my kids' schools. And the dads are off working too much. Makes it hard to build connections for a single dad like me.
ReplyDeleteI am friends with parents from my daughter's soccer team, and that helps a lot.
Yikes. Scary concept. I'm not fond of other parents either. But then I'm not fond of many people...
ReplyDeleteThe other mothers are one of the reasons I have a full time job :)
ReplyDeleteTotally late to the party Zen, and a newbie at that (thank Hot Dads, you Hot Mama) Anyway, I get where you're coming from, but here's a piece of secret news garnered over the last several years on the fringes of PTA. I always felt inferior, how-do-they-do-all-that, etc. and what I've recently learned is that most of the so-called super-moms are complete frauds (and obnoxious, high school type gossip, clique, etc. wannabes.) Yeah, I said it! The ones that are SEEN most often being mom-studs are not real, normal people. They derive their whole identity from pretending to be super mom because there is nothing else to them.(OK, there might be a few exceptions to the rule, but not many.) Most moms are just as nervous and oh-god-I-can't-do-this as I am. I'm discovering that the one's who always made me feel the worst because they were so "good" were really only good at their own hype. They spent so much time being Crafty Cookers for every one else (and advertising that fact), that they actually spent less time with their kids than us "slacker" moms did (and yeah, the teachers cringe every time those moms enter a room cause they're gonna cause headaches.)
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