Quote Junkie: On Communication

Do not speak unless you can improve on the silence.
~ Spanish Proverb

Noise proves nothing -
often a hen who has merely laid an egg,
cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
~ Mark Twain

Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
~ Jeff Daly

The trouble with talking too fast
is you may say something you haven't thought of yet.
~ Ann Landers

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place
but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
~ Dorothy Nevill

It is better to keep one's mouth shut
and be thought a fool
than to open it and resolve all doubt.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Isn't it surprising how many things, if not said immediately,
seem not worth saying ten minutes from now?
~ Arnot L. Sheppard, Jr.

One of the lessons of history
is that nothing is often a good thing to do
and always a clever thing to say.
~ Will Durant

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving evidence of the fact.
~ George Eliot

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking,
my words can't keep up with my thoughts.
I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
~ Bill Watterson

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge;
argument an exchange of ignorance.
~ Robert Quillen

If everybody thought before they spoke,
the silence would be deafening.
~ George Barzan

The only valid censorship of ideas
is the right of people not to listen.
~ Tommy Smothers

The right to be heard does not automatically include
the right to be taken seriously.
~ Hubert H. Humphrey

Whenever two good people argue over principles,
they are both right.
~ Marie Ebner von Eschenbach

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not,
as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe,
an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.
~ Emily Post

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech. ~ Edwin H. Friedman

Quote Junkie: On Writing

Welcome to the latest edition of Quote Junkie, wherein I further reveal my geeky obsession with the power and beauty of the written word. Fellow bloggers may be able to relate to today's theme ...

"Writing a novel is like making love, but it's also like having a tooth pulled. Pleasure and pain. Sometimes it's like making love while having a tooth pulled." ~ Dean Koontz

"If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live, I'd type a little faster." ~ Isaac Asimov

"A writer never has a vacation. For a writer life consists of either writing or thinking about writing." ~ Eugene Ionesco

"Writing makes no noise, except groans, and it can be done everywhere, and it is done alone." ~ Ursula K. LeGuin

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." ~ Cyril Connolly

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." ~ Somerset Maugham

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." ~ Red Smith

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." ~ Robert Frost

"Writing is the flip side of sex – it's good only when it's over." ~ Hunter S. Thompson

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." ~ Robert A. Heinlein 

"If you are pointing out one of the things a story is about, then you are very probably right; if you are pointing out the only thing a story is about you are very probably wrong - even if you're the author." ~ Neil Gaiman

"Detail makes the difference between boring and terrific writing. It’s the difference between a pencil sketch and a lush oil painting. As a writer, words are your paint. Use all the colors." ~ Rhys Alexander

"Resist the temptation to try to use dazzling style to conceal weakness of substance." ~ Stanley Schmidt

"Suit the action to the word, the word to the action." ~ William Shakespeare

"When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand." ~ Raymond Chandler

"The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in shock-proof shit-detector." ~ Ernest Hemingway

"Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don't see any." ~ Orson Scott Card

"The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story." ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

"There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you." ~ Zora Neale Hurston

Ten Years Ago

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
~ George Santayana

Columbine: What you think you know is probably wrong.

Ten years ago today, we all watched together as a terrible tragedy unfolded in Littleton, Colorado.

As a citizen of this world, I mark today as the anniversary of an indescribably sad event.

As a PR professional and a former newspaper reporter, I mark today as the anniversary of the beginning of the end of journalism.

Ten years ago today, media - professional and otherwise - were all so obsessed with getting the "breaking news" first-fast-right-now ... that we were inundated with speculation, half-truths and unconfirmed reports.

In the light of the tragic loss of life and the resultant loss of our collective sense of personal security, it might seem unimportant to some to "nitpick" the media coverage.

But - without downplaying the terrible events of that day - I disagree. I think it IS important to look at and understand how the media failed us ten years ago today. And how they continue to fail us every day by focusing on getting the story first instead of getting it right.

But it's also important to remember that the media are not doing this in a vacuum.

We - the consumers - are really the ones to blame. We want fast-food journalism. We demand it. We can't be bothered to take the time to actually learn about complicated issues and events ... just give us the Reader's Digest version, please. And make it snappy.

And so, the media delivers exactly what we want instead of what we need.

And we all live on in collective ignorance ... subscribing to the myths of misinformation that bloom from the seeds of shoddy journalism and an apathetic citizenry.

And we fail to learn.

And that only compounds the tragedy.

Golden Words

"Anytime you can lead a story with a gunshot wound to the scrotum, you gotta go with it."


My favorite college professor imparted those words of wisdom to me when I was a but a wee green journalism student.

Seriously, would I make up something like that?

I was reading an article the other day about headlines and leads and grabbing your readers and I suddenly flashed back to that day ...

One of my best friends and I were teaming up on a project for our college paper - a package of articles on emergency medical services in our community. We'd done our research on funding and staffing and statistics and all the "boring stuff". Now it was time for the fun part: A night with the graveyard shift at the downtown ER.

It was a busy night ... a heat stroke ... an overdose ... a stabbing. I thought, for a while, that the stabbing might be the highlight of the evening.

But then the cops wheeled in the man clasping a bloody rag to his groin.

It didn't take finely honed journalistic instincts to know THAT was gonna be a story to tell.

Now, my first response was pity for the poor guy. I mean, a bullet to the family jewels? How can you not feel for that? (In fact, I bet male readers are even now wincing and crossing their legs.)

But, I have to admit: I was a little excited when the ER surgeon told me it was a gunshot wound to the scrotum. And, when, a little later, he reported it was actually a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the scrotum ... I got a little light-headed.

I mean, seriously, how often do you get to write something like that?

Reporters will tell you that if you don't hook your reader by your first sentence, you're done. But Professor Flynn took it a step further. He taught us that you have to hook your reader with your first three words. He called them "Golden Words".

And if you thought that I was inappropriately excited about this poor guy's genital trauma ... you should have seen the The Old Man's face when I brought him those Golden Words. He grinned so big I thought his face might split open.

Silly me ... green little cub reporter that I was: I'd put the scrotal suffering at the end of my second sentence.

Flynn just looked at me deadpan and said, "Oh, no. Anytime you have a gunshot to the scrotum, you gotta lead with it."

In all my years as a writer, that is - hands-down - my favorite lead EVER. There've been other good and memorable first lines in my career, but that one will always hold a special place in my memory.

Now that I've sold my soul and crossed over to the dark-side (as my former colleagues like to refer to my move from journalism to public relations), I just don't get the opportunity to write those kinds of leads anymore.

Every now and then, I kind of miss them.

But I haven't forgotten the lessons learned. I still try to find the "Golden Words" in everything I write professionally. I do that by thinking about my readers and my goal: What do they care about? What do they need to know? What is the most important thing I need to share with them?

The inverted pyramid is not enough. In today's fast-paced world, most readers are only ready to "commit" to the first sentence of your copy. Is that sentence going to intrigue them or inspire them or amuse them enough to go on to the next?

And the next?

And the next?

How do YOU grab your readers?

National Grammar Day

Holy verbiage Grammar Man! I missed National Grammar Day?! How the heck did that happen? I hope they don't make me give my Grammar Nazi card back.

Oh, the blogs I could have blogged in honor of this day! I have scads of material on apostrophe abuse, run-on sentences, subject-verb agreement, the poor misunderstood adverb, mangled Latin, et al!

Why, just this week, I added three new misused idioms to my collection. I mean, you could get a whole blog's worth of material from "for all intensive purposes" or "balling my eyes out" or "with baited breath". That's Grammar Nazi gold, right there!

That's not even to mention my award-winning treatise: "They're, Their, There" and its sequel, "Your stupid! My stupid what?"

Ah, well. I guess it will all have to wait until next year.

To atone for my big grammar blog FAIL ... I humbly encourage you, gentle reader, to visit the National Grammar Day Blog.

Are there grammar errors that makes you cringe? Do share!

Grammar Matters

Wedge over at Kilobox Communique has a guest post by Jules about the importance of spelling.

This is a topic close to my heart, and I'm afraid I wrote a whole book - or at least a few chapters - in my response. Sorry, Wedge. :)

So, I thought I'd share my thoughts on this here, as well. Here is the gist of what I had to say:

As a self-professed grammar ninja (which is two degrees kinder, but one degree more dangerous than a grammar snob) I have to fall strongly on the side of "Spelling Counts!"

I walk around my daily life mentally copy editing everything from billboards to menus to shop signs to fliers posted on telephone poles - a habit and hazard of my trade.

My dictionary, thesaurus and AP Style Guide are indispensable tools of that trade.

Yes, we make all make mistakes. Typos Happen. And I'm a teensy bit more relaxed about it in my "casual" writing (personal emails, text messages, blogs, twitter).

But I am absolutely mortified when grammatical errors slip into my professional writing or past my professional editing.

Some of my colleagues think I am a bit over-zealous (thus the "grammar ninja" title). But I would argue that it is not only my job to get it right - and therefore a matter of personal and professional pride - but it is also a matter of the CREDIBILITY of my organization - and not just because I work in public education.

There is little-to-no excuse for companies and organizations to NOT have perfect copy.

As a customer or stakeholder, why should I trust your judgment or have faith in your skills if you can't spell a word associated with your product or service .. or if you don't know the difference between "it's" and "its" ... or if you can't seem to master subject-verb agreement?

Customers SHOULD question the credibility and professionalism of companies that don't know or don't care enough to get it right.

Jules, if you are "outdated" or "arrogant" ... I guess I am, too. Grammar Ninjas Unite. :)

This is not the first time - and certainly not the last - I have climbed up on my grammar soap-box to proclaim my opinion to the blogosphere.

The bottom line? Grammar matters.

i can haz grammar?

In keeping with the theme ... :)

Yep. I'm addicted to these things.

Confessions of a grammar snob

I just read a post that was written in ALL CAPS - except for every letter "i", which was in lower case. Every "E" in every word was replaced with "3". And it was written in a bold pink font on a white background.

Those were it's good points.

I think my eyes have finally stopped bleeding.

I would like to say that this was the worst post I've ever seen. But, sadly, that's not true. It's not even the worst post I've seen this week.

What are people thinking?

I capitalize the first word of sentences. I use punctuation marks. I take the extra .25 seconds to spell out whole words like "your" and "to". I use spell-check.

Apparently, these basic grammar skills mark me as appallingly uncool in online communities. I guess I should just shut off my computer, cancel my Internet service and hide out in academia for the rest of my life.

But, before I shuffle off to the old-geeks home, can someone please tell me: Why is it that people like me - who appreciate good grammar and netiquette - are considered "rude" or "uptight" for remarking on atrocities like those described above? Or - gods forbid - gently correcting an error? As I've said before: I think it's like telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. I would want to know.

But, apparently, the Internet "doesn't count".

Oh, bother.

Fine. If you don't mind the fact that people will think you're stupid, then go right ahead: Ignore basic rules of grammar and spelling. Keep right on misusing homonyms. Boycott punctuation. Type only in "txtspk".

But don't expect me to read it. And don't expect me to give any serious consideration to anything that you have to say. The right to speak does not include the right to be read, nor to be taken seriously. You have to actually work for those.

If you "choose" to type like an idiot, I'm just going to assume you are one.

*sigh*

You know what's funny? I actually like things like LOLcats just as much as the next gal. (In fact, I've a downright unhealthy addiction to those things. I've had to clean my beverage off of my screen many-a-time while browsing icanhascheezeburger and icanhasforce, but that's a whole other blog.)

I've also been known to use "LOL" and "OMG" and "PWNED" and other Internet slang in IMs or casual emails. I even use (overuse?) smilies. :)

But the difference is: I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

If you know the rules and choose to break them - sparingly - for humor or other effect, I have no problem with that. If you make a typo, or misspell a word or two, or "LOL" at something - I'm not going to lob a dictionary at you. I promise.

But the people who write whole blogs in "txtspk" and "l33t speak"? The ones who make forum posts six paragraphs long with no capitalization or punctuation? The ones who blatantly misspell every word? The ones who use rAndOm caPiTalIzatIoN?

THEY make me want to stab them in the head with my little red copy-editing pencil.

I guess that makes me a mean ol' stuck-up grammar-snob.

Meh. I can live with that.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

This is a public service announcement:

Just because you read it on the Internet doesn't mean it's true.

Just because your sister's husband's friend's cousin forwards an email doesn't mean it's accurate.

Just because someone wrote about it in their blog doesn't mean it's the whole story.

Seriously, people need to read more critically. Check your sources. Do a tiny bit of research. In most case, it only takes a few minutes to confirm the validity of that email from Aunt Martha.

Here, I'll help. This is one good online resource for debunking urban myths: http://www.snopes.com/

There are others.

As a former newspaper reporter, I find myself lamenting what I see as a sad decline in American journalism. In J-school, I was taught that it was the job of the reporter to be accurate, complete and unbiased. I don't see that much anymore.

I could write a whole dissertation on the cause and effect of the decline of those journalistic values. One of the key factors, though, is that the news is increasingly complex and people's attention spans are increasingly short.

And then there is the web. Today, anyone with a modem can publish "news". The end result is that the consumer needs to take more and more personal responsibility for being an informed citizen.

Which is bad. Because so many people are lazy. And it's easier to just take what we are being fed rather than go out and hunt down the truth for ourselves.

It's the web-news phenomenon that concerns me most, I think. All you have to do is Google a few keywords to pull up several "articles" on any hot topic.

The problem is that too many web-surfers just blindly accept the first "news" they find on a subject without even considering the source and it's possible biases. Or worse, they seek out their favorite "news" source - which is a group or organization that shares their own bias and agenda.

I know that it is getting harder and harder to find unbiased news sources. In fact, I find that the "truth" is usually to be found hiding somewhere between the rhetoric on each side.

But I wish more people would TRY to be informed consumers. Be a skeptical reader. Find independent confirmation. Look at more than one side of an issue. Take responsibility rather than just taking as gospel whatever the television - or computer - shows you.

I am so tired of the emails that further urban myths and political propaganda and intentional misinformation. It's sad how many things I've seen just THIS WEEK that were outright lies.

I'm appalled at how many sheeple out there don't even bother to THINK before they just blithely pass things along. If it matches their preconceptions and sounds even remotely plausible, they just hit "forward".

Criminitly, people. Have some pride. If you are going to put your name on something, make sure it's accurate and not just convenient.