Marlin or Crush?

One of my favorite dad-bloggers, Scifi Dad over at Tales from the Dad Side wrote a post a little while back about how tough it can be as parents to balance Safe or Happy when it comes to our kids.

He got me thinking ...

As the parent of a pre-schooler, I have, of course, seen Finding Nemo about 7,000 times. In addition to learning about anemones, jellyfish and the EAC, there's a parenting lesson to be found between the reef and the bay.

There's a parenting spectrum with Marlin the Clown Fish (Nemo's Dad) at one end and Crush the Sea Turtle (Squirt's Dad) at the other.

Marlin was afraid to let "anything" happen to Nemo. But, as Dory said, that's "Not much fun for little Harpo ... Nemo."

Crush, on the other hand, gave Squirt the freedom to explore and learn and maybe even make some mistakes. Valuable lessons, there. :)

I'd like to say I'm one of those cool parents who's learned to take Crush's approach. But I have to admit that I'm more Marlin by nature.

The Husband, though, is a Crush. And he balances me out and keeps from crossing the line from "protective" to "lock-them-in-the-house-until-they're-21".

So, whenever I'm tempted to coat the Minions in bubble-wrap, I try to get in touch with my inner Crush.

While my natural instinct is "safety, first" ... I know I sometimes need to make myself relax a little bit and let them have a little freedom ... and maybe even make a mistake. (Not jumping-off-the-roof freedom, of course. More like going-on-the-slide-all-by-myself freedom).

And, oh my gawd, is that hard!

The Marlin side of my brain screams: "I need to keep my kids safe. And this is a very scary world."

And the Crush side drawls, "Duuuude. Let us chill see what the little Grommets can do."

I think it's getting a little easier. At least I hope so. If not, I think their teenage years might give me a coronary. Or at least an ulcer.

Of course, sometimes safety wins out and the answer is "No" ... but I know it's just as important to help them understand why the answer is no. Because there's a lesson in that, too.

I guess it's one of the many balancing acts we have to pull off every day as parents. And I know I make mistakes along the way. But, maybe the best anyone can do is "Just Keep Swimming."

So, who are you? Marlin or Crush?