People are stupid.

I had this epiphany one Wednesday: People are stupid.

Now, I know, you’re saying "But, zen, (you can call me zen, ‘cause we’re all friends here) this is not really an epiphany. You knew that all along."

But it WAS an epiphany. Because what I knew on Tuesday was "There are stupid people." What I realized on that Wednesday is "People are stupid." There’s a difference. And nothing has been the same since.

Before Wednesday, I met people who – as my grandma would say - “haven’t got the sense God gave little green apples”. But I thought they were a minority. Before Wednesday, I walked around with the bar set higher. I would meet someone and assume they were intelligent.

But after that Wednesday … I realize that it is much safer to assume someone is stupid until it is proven otherwise. After Wednesday, I understand “smart” is the exception, NOT the default. To be honest, that scares the hell out of me - especially when I think about the fact that I live in a country where “majority rules”.

While I do consider myself one of the “smart” ones, I want to head off at the pass one argument I can already see coming … This realization about the condition of mankind does not make me happy. This realization is not ego-boosting for me. I’m not saying, “I’m smarter than everybody else, nyah, nyah, nyah.”

Despite my recent realization about the breadth and depth of human stupidity, I also know that there are a heck of a lot of people out there who are a heck of a lot smarter than me. My disappointed realization, though, is that they are massively outnumbered by the woefully ignorant.

My sound-bite definition of smart: Someone who knows they are ignorant and wants to fix that. Smart is not necessarily “book learnin’” - the smartest person I know does not have a college degree. One of the dumbest people I know has a doctorate.

This is crucial, so pay attention: A lack of education does not necessarily make one stupid. But a lack of desire to improve your mind, does.

I should point out that I do know an awful lot of smart people. If you want to meet a few, check out my “Friends”. But the sad truth is, we are outnumbered.

But there was a second part to my realization: You can’t fix stupid.

Therein lies the upside! You can’t fix stupid. You can’t educate the willfully ignorant. You can’t enlighten the deliberately obtuse. And THAT realization is liberating.

I used to get frustrated – angry even – when I had to deal with exceptionally stupid people. I would try so hard to help them see what was so clear to me. I would use all of my passion and skill to try to educate them. I would beat my fists against the walls of their ignorance until I was too exhausted to go on. And then I would be upset that I couldn’t “fix” them.

Fast-forward to now. I have a much healthier outlook. You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. The truth is that the ONLY things any of us can control are our own thoughts – “control” of anything else is just an illusion.

So I don’t try to “fix” people anymore. I don’t try to change the opinion of someone who doesn’t really want to open her mind to new ideas.

That's not to say that I don’t voice my opinion. I’m just as passionate in my beliefs as ever. I still love a good argument. I still thrill at an intelligent debate. I’ve even been known to romp gleefully through a stupid rant, just for fun. If you have an opinion that is different than mine and you want to bat it around for a while, bring it on!

The difference now, is that I don’t get angry. I don’t let people get to me. I don’t take their stupidity personally. My epiphany set me free of my frustration. I’m centered. I'm zen.

So, now I just ask myself: Is this fight worth my most valuable commodity - my time? We only have so many hours on this planet. Do I want to spend some of those precious minutes fighting this fight? Will it be productive? Will it be stimulating? Will I be exposed to new ideas? Will I get to explore and express my own ideas? Will it be fun?

If the answer is no, I move on. If the answer is yes, I dive in head first and indulge myself. Because now that I am not worried about “fixing” people, I agree with Robert Heinlein: “It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.”


*This random rambling was brought to you by a friend who inspired me with her “Picking your Battles” blog – and tooooo many cups of really good Kona coffee.*