I've had a couple of online friends ask me, kindly, about what's going on in my life that I didn't have time to blog anymore. This is my attempt at an answer.
I guess the short version is: Life.
More specifically, my work life.
I don't blog about my work. With good reason. But I'm going to break my own rule just this once and touch on the subject just a little bit.
Because I think it might do me some good to get some of this off of my chest. And because I want all you nice people who are kind enough to stop by my blog on a regular basis to know that I'm not dead or anything. But I am kinda fetal-position-under-the-desk-mumbling-to-myself. And I guess that deserves a little explanation.
To make a very long story short: We are making massive budget cuts in my organization. Fortunately, I'm one of the lucky ones who still has a job. Actually, I guess I'm extra lucky, because I now have TWO jobs.
Yep, the powers-that-be have decided that the full-time-and-then-some job I've been doing for 10 years just isn't enough to justify my existence anymore. So they've basically added a whole new full-time job to my duties.
Yep, I'll basically be doing two jobs for the price of one. Oh, wait, no, make that two jobs for LESS than the price of one. Did I mention the pay cut that comes along with my new duties?
Meh. S'okay. I didn't need all that grocery money anyway. Or a personal life.
Alright, sarcasm aside, this "transition" is really kicking my ass. The extra work - most of which won't kick in until July 1 - is already making me bat-shit crazy.
But, honestly, more than the extra work, it's the emotional stress I'm hauling around right now that's causing my current "blogger's block".
I'm am, frankly, completely overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted right now. Some days it feels like it's all I can do to just keep breathing. On those days - which are becoming more frequent - I can barely hang on to a thought, much less form them into coherent sentences. To quote Buffy, "Fire bad. Tree pretty." is just about the extent of my mental capacity at the moment.
Light and fluffy is all I can handle right now. If I try to delve deeper, I'm pretty sure my head will pop. Or else one of you will have to come post my bail.
So, there's my trouble in a nutshell.
I guess I'm just asking for y'all to bear with me for a while. I have a feeling my posts will be few and far between for a while and will likely be of the aforementioned "light-and-fluffy" flavor. Or it's possible I may just embrace my growing depression and start posting dark poetry a la Plath and Poe.
I guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out.
Just Keep Swimming,
Zen
* Post Title from "Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney
Ugh. Sounds lovely - I know this doesn't help much, but hope you're hanging in there.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, that signature ZenMom humor still came through in this post!
Damn that does suck for sure. Budget cuts are everywhere it seems. At least you didn't get let go over it. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI hope it all works out!!
Yay, economy! We'll all be here when you do blog...no fairweather followers, we.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Don't let your head explode.
Just say 'No.'
ReplyDeleteAnd if they fire you, gosh, what a shame. Unemployment benefits, time with kids, and a new job around the corner.
What's that you say? Jobs are scarce?
My ass. There are still jobs...but only for the cream of the crop. Which you, my sexymomfriend, absolutely are.
Fuck 'em. Just say "I'm sorry, but this isn't feasible or possible. If you can find someone else who'll say yes to this, I understand, but I know you wouldn't respect my abilities any more if they're stretched too thin to do ANY of my duties well. I'm sure you understand."
Damn that sucks. I'm sorry you're going through that.
ReplyDeleteIs there any chance of you finding a different job, one that pays you for what you're doing without expecting you to sacrifice so much?
Sending you some love girl! Hang in there!
ReplyDeletethat sucks, hang in there. i leave blogging all the time, personally, without such a good excuse:-) and it always seems to be ok.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I hate my job, I have to be greatful I still have one. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that work sucks. However a pay cut and tons of extra work, really sucks. Can you negotiate some extra vacation time or something.
ReplyDeleteOh man, so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIck! Any chance you can move to a new job?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry it's awful like this :-(
I have answers to many of the questions and suggestions left here for you, because I am in the same boat as you (well, different boat, same sea), but I'll leave the answering to you.
ReplyDeleteSuffice it to say: It's not easy if you can't pick up and move to where the jobs are, and even then-- entry level-- you lose any seniority you may have had that saved your original job to begin with.
In the coming months, my workload with multiply by between 2 and 4 times what it has been (which was already twice what others did). To say I feel your pain is such an understatement, but also an injustice to you.
If you ever need to vent, I think that the both of us would amount to Mt. St. Helens (sp?), but it might do some psychic good. Consider it-- you know when I'm available.
My heart goes out to you,
~M
Wow, sorry to hear that you have to deal with that. Yes, you are one who still has a job, but that doesn't make the extra work any easier to deal with.
ReplyDeleteOnce it all smooths out, we will still be around.
I hear you loud and clear Zen. Stay the course, hang in there, glass is half full and other thoughts culled from motivational posters.
ReplyDeleteKeep you head above the water line dear friend and keep your thoughts positive! This too shall pass...OK...maybe in 20 years, but it will pass! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya. Swimming is good exercise though, so when it's all said and done you should be the stronger for it.
ReplyDeleteBe glad you're not wearing cement shoes.
Hang in there, one of these days American companies will figure out that they have to treat their employees decently. Don't know when... but still. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteBoundaries. I had similar pressures put on me, but after years of working to satisfy the man, I started saying know when my daughter was two (she's now 5).
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm at work, I will work hard, I will be smart, I will be a stellar employee, but my cup only holds 24 hours a day. I need to sleep to keep my saw sharp. I work to take care of my family - not vice versa.
I would rather live in a single-wide than sacrifice these years with my kids.
PS: Easier said than done. I've now been unemployed for over six months - but at least we have our sanity.
I feel your pain. I juts have the one job, but my boss keeps cutting my pay plan and telling me I should be happy that I have one. What an asshole....
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about all the struggles at your work. So many businesses are doing things like this right now and it is killing the people who have to take on multiple jobs. Hang in there! And don't worry. All your loyal minions will stick around to hear what you say next, even if there are pauses in between. We love you. Take care of yourself the best you can! XOXOX
ReplyDelete