All in Good Time

The new Barenaked Ladies album, All in Good Time came out yesterday! 

If you are surprised that I am excited about this, you must be new around here. ;)

I downloaded it this morning and I've been listening to it all day.



Zen

I guess we're all one phone call from our knees

I've had a couple of online friends ask me, kindly, about what's going on in my life that I didn't have time to blog anymore. This is my attempt at an answer.

I guess the short version is: Life.

More specifically, my work life.

I don't blog about my work. With good reason. But I'm going to break my own rule just this once and touch on the subject just a little bit.

Because I think it might do me some good to get some of this off of my chest. And because I want all you nice people who are kind enough to stop by my blog on a regular basis to know that I'm not dead or anything. But I am kinda fetal-position-under-the-desk-mumbling-to-myself. And I guess that deserves a little explanation.

To make a very long story short: We are making massive budget cuts in my organization. Fortunately, I'm one of the lucky ones who still has a job. Actually, I guess I'm extra lucky, because I now have TWO jobs.

Yep, the powers-that-be have decided that the full-time-and-then-some job I've been doing for 10 years just isn't enough to justify my existence anymore. So they've basically added a whole new full-time job to my duties.

Yep, I'll basically be doing two jobs for the price of one. Oh, wait, no, make that two jobs for LESS than the price of one. Did I mention the pay cut that comes along with my new duties?

Meh. S'okay. I didn't need all that grocery money anyway. Or a personal life.

Alright, sarcasm aside, this "transition" is really kicking my ass. The extra work - most of which won't kick in until July 1 - is already making me bat-shit crazy.

But, honestly, more than the extra work, it's the emotional stress I'm hauling around right now that's causing my current "blogger's block".

I'm am, frankly, completely overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted right now. Some days it feels like it's all I can do to just keep breathing. On those days - which are becoming more frequent - I can barely hang on to a thought, much less form them into coherent sentences. To quote Buffy, "Fire bad. Tree pretty." is just about the extent of my mental capacity at the moment.

Light and fluffy is all I can handle right now. If I try to delve deeper, I'm pretty sure my head will pop. Or else one of you will have to come post my bail.

So, there's my trouble in a nutshell.

I guess I'm just asking for y'all to bear with me for a while. I have a feeling my posts will be few and far between for a while and will likely be of the aforementioned "light-and-fluffy" flavor. Or it's possible I may just embrace my growing depression and start posting dark poetry a la Plath and Poe.

I guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out.

Just Keep Swimming,
Zen


* Post Title from "Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney
 

A Very Merry Unbirthday

So, today is my first unbirthday since I turned 36.

I have to admit that 36 doesn't feel too terribly different yet than 35.

But, somehow, I feel like it should be more of a milestone. I mean, I'm officially in my "late 30s" now. I should feel differently, shouldn't I? Wiser? Grayer? Grumpier? Something.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not quite ready to embrace my inner-crone just yet. I mean, I just got this motherhood gig down. Don't rush me.

But I could go for a bit of that all-knowing and wise vibe. That'd be nice. Because, just between you and me, I'm totally winging this grown-up thing. Mostly making it up as I go along. And when that doesn't work, I fake it until the moment passes. (And I'm beginning to suspect I'm not the only one.)

Well, whether or not another year older shall make me another year wiser is yet to be seen. But, I do know that I had a quiet and lovely birthday yesterday.

In lieu of 1,000 words ...

(What? I told you I was faking this whole responsible-adult thing.)

While all of the gifts and cards and messages really did make my day very special, I have to admit that THESE from the ZenHusband are definitely my favorite gift:

Wishing you a very merry unbirthday,

Zen

Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads

(Previously posted at Venus vs Mars)

In the before-time, the ZenHusband and I used to do lots of fun things together: Backpacking, hiking, camping, SCUBA diving, music festivals, movies, video games, sporting events, museums ...

But, since the kids came along, we don't have a lot of "us" time. We do a lot of things together as a whole family - and that's great. But, we don't really do many "fun" things together just as a couple any more.

Instead, we trade off - he has time to go do some of "his" things and I have some free time to do some of "my" things.

His favorite hobbies are homebrewing, fishing, hiking, alternative music, video games, disc golf ... throw in a little football and hockey (watching) and the occasional war movie or History Channel documentary and the ZenHusband is a pretty happy camper.

Me? I'm usually happiest when I'm reading, writing, playing with techy stuff, or taking photographs.

I used to think that it was great that we each had our own interests. And, I guess I still do. But, I kind of miss doing non-parent things together, too.

Sometimes it starts to seem like whenever we are together, all we do or talk about is how to juggle work and kids' schedules, or what's for dinner, or did you feed the cat, or can you fix the kitchen drawer, or the car needs washing, or I'll pick up milk on the way home ...

Every now and then, I feel like if we didn't have all of that "family business" minutia, we might just sit and stare at each other and wonder what to talk about; I start to wonder if we have anything in common anymore besides our kids.

And then ...

... then we somehow manage to find a few hours - or even a whole day or two - of "us" time ...

And, suddenly, we remember that, while we are separate people with different interests, we are also a loving couple with more than 10 years of shared history and a lot more in common than just those fabulous, adorable rugrats who call us parents.

A while back, we had a rare two whole days to ourselves. We went out of town to do something "fun". But, more importantly, we had a lot of time to just hang out and talk. Did we talk about the kids? Yeah, a little. But we also talked about books and music and movies and food and current events.

And we talked about the fact that we want to make sure that we don't forget that, no matter how all-encompassing parenting can (and should) be in our lives, we still need to make time to do the "fun" things that we enjoy doing together - just for us - too.

We don't quite know how we are going to do it, but we agree it's important to us to try.

What about you?

Do you and your significant other have shared interests or hobbies? Do you do "fun" things together (without your kids)? Or do you each do your own "grown up" things? Is "couple time" a priority for you? How do you find the time and what kinds of things do you do?

Zen

* Title from: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol