Nil illegitimi carborundum

So, I created a personal coat of arms.
Because that's the kind of thing Photoshop geeks do for fun.

This is hanging in my office, now. No, seriously. I framed it and everything. 

It's on my wall with a collection of other black-and-white "art", next to this one:

 and this one:

Wanna take bets on how long it will take someone to Google the dog-Latin motto in the middle and I'll have to take it down? ;)

Pax et Lux,

Zen

Wonder Woman FAIL

Dear David E.Kelly:

I'm suddenly very glad that I DON'T currently have television programming at my home.

Because, if I did, I'd probably have to watch this heinous interpretation of the costume of one of my favorite super heroines prance across my 38 inch TV. In Hi-Def. And that might just burn my retinas out.

I'm okay with the pants idea - and the semi-sensible heel on the boots is alright. But those are just about the only nice things I can say about this ... outfit.

Head-to-toe (or, in this case, breast-to-toe) shiny latex?! Really?! That is just hideous. It looks like she was dressed by a fetishist. Seriously, she looks all lubed up. And not in a good way.

And can she even move in that thing? Hell, can she even breathe? I get that it has to be all tight and sexy, 'cuz that's what people expect in a superhero costume. And I admit the bustier is Canon. But there's no way in hell she could actually do anything heroic in that top except stand very still while other Justice League members feel her up.

I'm pretty sure if she raised her arms to actually throw that lasso on her hip, her boobs would pop right out the top like one of those snakes-in-a-peanut-brittle-cans. Not to mention the fact that she can forget about sneaking up on any villains since she's going to sound like a balloon animal convention every time she moves.

So, I guess the target audience here is ... what? ... horny basement geeks and slutty co-eds?

You know, David, it's hard enough for a Geek Girl to find a decent Super Heroine to look up to, ya know? And you go and take one of the good ones and make her look like a cheap whore.

Nice. Thanks.

Just so you know? Joss would never have done this.

Disappointed,

Zen

No TV and no beer make Homer something something

Brace yourself, kids, I have a big confession to make:

I have no TV.

Well, to be specific, I do have a television (and great big HD LCD, in point of fact), but I have no television programming. And I haven't had it since last June, when we canceled our DirecTV subscription. Because we are too lazy not motivated enough to get a roof antenna, we don't even have "local" channels.

I know, right?! The HORROR!

But you know what?

*whispers* It's not that bad.

Wait,I know what you're thinking: How can a self-professed pop culture and scifi geek such as myself have possibly have survived so long without TV?!?!

How have I not gone all Jack Torrance and started chasing down the neighbors with an axe?! How have I managed to keep from cutting my co-workers' hearts out with spoons?! How is it that no bunnies have ended up in soup pots?

Quick, before the TV people come breaking down my door with their flashy thingies and force-feed me Retcon - let me let you in on a little secret: Between our Netflix Instant steaming video and the full-length episodes of many of my favorite shows that are available online (not to mention our own extensive DVD collection), we've hardly missed our satellite programming at all!

Sure, there are a few shows we miss. But, the truth is, we got used to the change pretty quickly.

Ha! So there, satellite TV company! Take that TV advertisers! We don't need no stinkin' TV programming! Not us! We are unplugged, man ... we are free ... we are ...

Wait, WHAT?!?!

AT&T To Cap DSL Internet Data Usage At 150GB

Guh-wha?! But I ... You can't ... I need ... What the Flagnar?! Noooooooo!

If you need me, I'll be the one in the fetal position under the coffee table frantically Googling alternative ISPs.

Zen

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair

I took a a couple of lovely walks in a couple of lovely places this weekend ... with my camera.

If that didn't bore you to death, you can check out
more photos on my Flickr Photostream.

 Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet
and the winds long to play with your hair. 

~Kahlil Gibran
 

Zen

Kid Logic: Conversations with my Kids

Borrowing a page from my pal DaddyGeekBoy today to document some of the funny and/or interesting "Wit and Wisdom" moments of my kids. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have seen some of these pearls, already.

I swear both of my boys say the most hilarious (to me, at least) things almost every day. At the time, they crack me up. And I think to myself, "I have to tell their dad (or grandparents) about that, later." But I usually forget. And then I wish I'd written them down. 

Do you ever do that? 

So, I'm using the power of social media to preserve a few of these gems for posterity. And by "posterity", I mostly mean to torture them with when they are older.

Please to enjoy ...

###

Bam-Bam, picking up my umbrella: "Does it shoots? Like da Ping-wen?"
Me: "Nope, sorry."
Bam-Bam: "Aww, man. Dat wud be bedder."

###

The week before The Super Bowl:

Me: "We'll go to the library Sunday."

The Professor: "Mommy, Sunday is a Holiday!"

Me: Huh???

The Professor: "It's Feasting and Football Day!"

Husband: *Sheepish Grin*

###

The Professor: "I learned to French kiss today!"
Me: o_0
The Professor: *plants air-kisses on each side of my face*
Me: "Oh!!! That's GREAT, Sweetie!"
*ohthankyousweetbabyjeebus*

###

On the way home from the Sitter's, driving by plant nursery:

Bam-Bam: "Plants! Plants turn into pizza!"

Me: "Watched Wall-E today, didja?"

###

Bam-Bam, getting out of tub, genuinely freaked out:
"Aaaaaahhhhh! Mommy, my hands are OLD!!"

###

The Professor: "Mom, Bam-Bam is adopted."

Me: "Um, no, he's not. What makes you think that?"

The Professor: He doesn't look anything like me! Except for our skin."

Me: "Honey, what do you think 'adopted' means?"

The Professor: It means 'different'.

Me: "No. That's not what it means. C'mere and let's talk about where some babies come from ..."

###

At the dinner table:
The Professor to Bam-Bam, the finicky-eater (In a bad British accent.):
"You can't have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat."

###

Bam-Bam: I have 5 arms and swim backwards! What am I?

Me: Um, a squid?

Bam-Bam: A michelinoceras!

(Yeah. I had to look it up, too. Thank you, DinosaurTrain.)

###

6yo: Know who I love best? You, Mommy ... And Gaga (Grandma) ...
Me: Awww.
6yo: Oh, and the Yo-Yo guy! (who performed at his school last week.) He's awesome!
Me: Ah.

### 

What funny things have the kids in your life spouted off lately?

Zen

Yes. This.

"A problem is just a problem because we think of it that way. Stuff happens. If we don’t like the stuff, we label it a problem and try to jam the world back into the way it was going before. If we do like the stuff, we label it an opportunity and try to take advantage of it. The difference between a problem and an opportunity is what we do with it, not what it is to begin with." ~ Stever Robinson, The Get-It-Done Guy