Ok, so, they're not 20 feet tall.Or radioactive.
Or even killers.
But they are definitely on the attack. And they are effing annoying!
We've been having border skirmishes with this drone army for a while now. But yesterday, hostilities escalated when the enemy executed a blitz attack.
The recon team must have slipped through our defenses earlier in the week. Because they knew just where to hit us - marching unerringly and with mindless determination for our weakest spots.
They came at us in three fronts - dining room, living room and kitchen. A tactic surely designed to cause panic and division of resources.
But our wily Master Chief (aka The ZenHusband) was not to be outdone. He didn't mess around. He went straight for the Big Guns - the dual tactics of chemical warfare and WMDs to send those enemy combatants to that great Colony in the sky.
I left most of the actual combat to the Master Chief and focused on rallying the troops and keeping the supply lines running.
It was a long and ugly battle and - I'm not gonna lie to you - there were moments when I thought we might not prevail.
But, we finally cleared away the last of the invading horde and had the satisfaction of knowing we had successfully defended our territory.But this was just one battle - not the war. And I don't think we've seen the last of this army. They are a single-minded, hearty and they have the advantage of numbers. Fortunately, we have the advantage of opposable thumbs. Well, that, and being about 10,000 times bigger.
But still, it may be time to call in reinforcements.
I know I (coincidentally) wrote this on Twitter today, but "I for one welcome our new ant overlords."
ReplyDeleteTMI time.
ReplyDeleteIn my condo, I've never had ants. EVER. Good landlord, here's a treat landlord.
Then some time ago, I might have engaged in a little fornication, using safe practices, of course. In disposing of the used trojan (TOLD YOU TOO MUCH TMI!), I might have, in the heat of battle, missed the trash can by a foot or two.
20 minutes later, all done done. Get up, and that condom has ants all friggin over it!!!
FROM WHERE!?!?! Never had 'em, and I eat food in my bedroom all the time. Throw out good food in my trash can. Sodas. Syrupy stuff. Lasagna. Hot dogs. Suzy Q's fer goodness' sake!
Nuthin'
They were a'waitin for that one special day, I guess (so was I).
There they were, a trail from under the tub in the bathroom. A little RAID, proper disposal of certain used items, and haven't seen them again. Oh, but I know they're waiting...just waiting...for that day, perhaps years and years from now.
That day when I might just get lucky again.
Good. WAIT you bastards. If I have to, so do you! Grrrrr...
OK, I was going to post about our ant infestation, but really? Any comment left will pale in comparison to Mintzworks.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Don't feel bad, SFD, Mintz (sometimes) gets paid to make people laugh. He's a damn good storyteller.
ReplyDeleteAnd apparently his manly seed is even more attractive than SuzyQs.
Who knew? (Don't answer that, Mintz.)
Oh yeah. Ants. Fucking fuckers. We get those lazy ass kitchen ants. I mean, they have to climb a wall to get to us, but after that they just have to feast on the surfeit of food available on my kitchen floor at any given moment. But then they get tired and kind of slow. They're much easier to kill when they're satiated. Trust me on this. Good luck!
ReplyDelete