It was a decent movie, but the reason it sticks out in my mind is because some days I feel like I'm living it.
I see worst case scenarios.
It's my kids, you see. They've forced this (respons)ability on me, with their fearlessly reckless ways coupled with their vulnerable little bodies and exacerbated by their complete inability to foresee the consequences of their actions.
I've been forced to compensate by becoming their own personal Jiminy Cricket: The voice over their shoulders that points out the inevitably painful results of their latest feats of derring-do.
You may recall that Jiminy was not the most fun guy to be around.
- "Stop jumping on the bed. You'll fall onto all of those sharp toys on your floor."
- "No climbing on your tricycle to reach the toys on the top shelf! You'll fall down."
- "Don't hit your brother with the light saber - I don't care if he *is* Darth Vader - you'll hurt him."
- "Back away from the TV. You'll damage your eyes."
- "Chew or you'll choke."
- "Slow down or you'll fall."
- "No, you can't have a Red Ryder BB Gun. You'll shoot your eye out!"
Don't get the wrong idea. While there are days when I really would like to coat them in bubble wrap (Especially the 3 year old. Good gravy, but that kid is a trouble magnet!) I do let them run and play and jump and build and explore like normal little kids.
But even when I don't tell them about it, those worst-case-scenarios are still running constantly on the little movie screen in my head. I have a sneaking suspicion they always will.
Call it a hunch.
Parents: Do you do this? Do you automatically foresee all of the dangerous potential consequences of everything your kids do? Do you find yourself constantly serving as the voice of possible doom? Is this a "Mom-thing", or is it just me?
Zen
OK that's weird... while viewing your feed some words were highlighted in yellow, yet when I click through they're not highlighted.
ReplyDeleteDo you compose in Word by any chance?
Anyhow...
I do this sometimes, but my wife has this permanently "on", and is therefore more active in it than me.
It's the curse of the spell-check.
ReplyDeleteI generally compose in Blogger and use its spell-checker, which highlights misspellings in yellow. This time, I accidentally hit Publish before I "cleared" all of the words I wanted the spell-checker to ignore. So, they published with the yellow.
I fixed it and republished, but the feed hasn't caught up with it yet.
Back on the subject: That's how my husband describes it, too: That my Worry-Mom button is constantly "on". I'm not sure it has an "off" setting. Well except, possibly, unconsciousness.
I was just saying to the kids, stop climbing on that or you'll fall and break your head. I realized I had never actually seen or heard of this happening in real life. I then told them, well, I am not *actually* sure that could happen, but that's what my mom told me! They were laughing so hard, they forgot why they were climbing on the chair ;)
ReplyDeleteTho I am just "Uncle Stephen" I am the worst worrier ever BUT I'm very good about only stopping them from real danger. I definitely let them climb and jump and run with scissors.
ReplyDeleteBut at night? Oh, man, I'm practically OCD with all my worst-case scenarios.
And when the little girl broke her arm, I was the fairly cool-headed guy (running on adreneline) who wrapped the arm and stayed calm all through the ER process, but after I dropped her back home and talked to the Mommy on the phone I was a babbling crying drooling pool of yuck.
As I say now, when she's 25 she'll have forgotten all about it, but I'll still be in therapy over it.
It's the curse of the caring parent.
Oh, side note? Two days ago the 3 year old boy went out the back door and I quickly asked his older sister to check on him - she comes back and says "He's across the street."
Oh yeah. Across the street. Across MAROA, that busy Fresno street. Urgh. I handled that one very well also, but geez...
Holy shit ZM! I stop sometimes and think "damn dood you have turned into your parents!!!!"
ReplyDeleteI'm a doom and gloom foreseer. And I bit of a mom. Geez, no wonder I'm always depressed.
ReplyDeleteSo many times I say things that are such a parent cliche that I want to stab myself with a fork. Then I tell myself to be careful because I could put my eye out if I wave that fork around like that.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a component of this in every good parent - the trick is keeping it under control. Which, of course, is my strong suit.
ReplyDeleteNot.
I have an almost-three year-old who is just as accident-prone as his father (don't tell my wife I owned up to that - mkay?) so I foresee him doing what I imagine myself doing and the pain it would cause me. So I go to stop him and..... (you do know what's coming don't you?) invariably hurt myself in the process.
But I'd much rather I be hurt than the little guy so that's what goes for a happy ending around here.
One benefit to seeing what could be coming is the ability to decide what to preempt and what to make a life lesson. More than once I've seen him falling on something neither fatal nor scar-forming and said "ok, this will teach him not to do *that* again". Oh, did I mention he's not quite three yet? Yeah, most days I think I learn more about the world from watching him than he does from watching me.
-Jason
PS: I have a 1-month old daughter and I'm already looking for baby-safe bubble sheets to wrap her until she's 30. Can someone hook a terrified Dad up?
I'm kind of like Scifi Dad with this one. The Mrs. is always on top of this so I am pushing for a bit more freedom for Lukas.
ReplyDeleteWow, is it not just you. I never realized what a paranoid freak I could be until I became a parent. it doesn't help that my daughter tends to exhibit random moments of NO FEAR, particularly around cliffs and sharp objects.
ReplyDeleteSince she was born, I've basically become the big-time Buzzkill Dad.
I foresee the worst but usually let them do it anyway. I like to learn 'em.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes! I do. It's just a parenting instinct I think. We become parents and suddenly the world becomes crystal clear for a few seconds into the future in the area immediately surrounding any of our kids. Yeah, I've got the spidey sense.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually see it until after they've fallen down the stair, so I'm going to say that it's a mom thing.
ReplyDeleteI have 4 kids and work with kids so I am so not into the whole panic thing. I am used to them falling, bleeding, etc. I find the less a big deal I make about it so do they. However, I do have the "worst case scenario itis" when it comes to me. I always think, I'm gonna wreck my car, get sick, grow old lonely, get cancer etc.????Weird huh?
ReplyDelete