Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

31 October 2013

The Writing Dead: Party like you have to climb back into the grave at sunrise

This is your mandatory October playlist, people, write it down.

10) Odds Are

Okay, technically, this is not a "Halloween" song. But it IS my favorite band of all time AND it DOES have zombies. So, shut up. It counts.

9) I Put a Spell on You
This is one of those movies I just HAVE to watch every October.
Amuck, amuck, amuck!

8) Beetlejuice: Day-O and Shake Senora


A twofer from Beetlejuice: Yes, technically, neither of these songs are specifically "Halloween-y". But I defy you to find someone in my generation who doesn't immediately think of this movie when they hear them. 

7) Ghostbusters
  Trigger Warning: 80s Flashbacks may ensue.

Most people don't even know BOC even HAD other songs, do they?
Oh well. These guys still rock it.
And the guitar solo around 2:50 is almost worth including this one all by itself.

5) Time Warp
Is it even possible to make a Halloween song list without including at least one song from Rocky Horror? Or maybe two ... 

4) Science Fiction Double Feature


This one's a twofer, 'cause, sure, the classic from Rocky Horror is, well, The Classic. But I love this cover by Black Math Experiment, too (skip ahead to 1:09 for the good stuff).

3) This is Halloween! 
Another classic with a twist: "This is Halloween" from Tim Burton's iconic "Nightmare Before Christmas" - but this time performed by my favorite Las Vegans: Panic! at the Disco. Speaking of Danny Elfman .... 

Yeah, it's gonna be in your head all day now. You're welcome.

Oh, come on, like you didn't know this was going to be here.


Kiss Kiss, Bite Bite,
Zen

08 May 2013

Fin

It was Miss Zen. In the Library. With the Candlestick.
Zee Blog, She iz dead.

Well, she's taking a really long dirt nap, anyway.

I thought about trying to reanimate her. I mean, it's not like I have anything else to do with this athame and chicken blood ... but, if you read/watch Sci Fi, you have to know those things almost never end well.

So, rather than risk unleashing a brain-craving, blood-sucking, soul-stealing creature from hell, I'm just gonna let her nap. You're welcome.

You can still rifle through her pockets for loose change, if you'd like.

And, no, I'm not going to explain or justify or wax philosophical about it. I'm just gonna let her sleep.


Pfft. Screw THAT. I'm not dead. I'm just available in less concentrated doses ...

OneZenMom on TwitterOneZenMom on TumblrOneZenMom on InstagramPinterestGoodReads
If you know my real name ... you can find me on Facebook and Google+, too. 

And don't worry, I'll keep that chicken blood in the freezer, just in case. If I'm suddenly inspired to start randomly rambling again, we can all set fire to celebrate the resurrection of my undead blog together.

Namaste,
Zen

17 February 2012

Feelin' Crafty


Behold: My creation! *lighting crashes* Mwahahahahahaha!


I'd seen these cute little purses made from books at Etsy and other places and, being a huge book nerd, of course, I lusted for one of my own.

But they seemed so expensive, when I knew they could be made for so much less money. And yet, I was too intimidated to try to make one myself. (My crafting projects too often end in tears and feelings of inadequacy.)

But, after a friend of mine made this gorgeous bag for herself ...


  ... I got the guts to try to make my own.
 
I took bits and pieces from several tutorials I found online and Frankenstein'd my own method of doing it.

Mostly, this involved me thinking, "Now, how how can I do that without any sewing?" Cuz, you know, laziness is the mother of invention. Or something like that.

As I'm generally pleased with my results, I thought I'd share the method to my madness.

PROLOGUE

Frankly, I was too focused on figuring out how to make it work to really document my steps very well, though I did, obviously, snap a few pics along the way. So, as far as step-by-step tutorials go, this is a little weak. Think of it as more of an inspirational report than a how-to manual. ;)

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
  • A hard-cover book
    Just this once, you should judge a book by its cover: I find older books and children's books have some of the best covers. But, for this, I chose one of Barnes & Noble's Leatherbound Classic Series. Specifically, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. My friend used Grimm's Fairy Tales from the same series. It was actually really hard to choose just one book - they had so many of my favorites with such gorgeous covers! I wanted to buy them all. But, then, I get that feeling in bookstores all the time. The final deciding factor for me was size: The Anne Rice anthology was more than twice as wide as most of the others, meaning a bigger purse.
  • Coordinating fabric
    How much depends on the size of your book. I bought four fabric quarters - two each of a Gothic-looking black/purple tie-dye and a bright arterial red to complement my blood-sucking fiends theme - and that was more than enough - even with a few mistakes and re-cuts. (Most of the bags I've seen use only one fabric. But I wanted different colors for the sides and lining.)
  • Purse handles
    I went with pre-made. My friend made her own out of wire and beads. It doesn't really matter, as long as they coordinate with your book/bag.
  • Glue
    I mostly used fabric glue - the kind you can buy at any craft store for hemming and the like. But you could use hot glue or other kinds of crafting glue.
  • Cardboard
    Sturdy, but not too thick. Enough to cover the front, back and spine of your book. 
  • Plastic report cover
  • A utility knife, scissors, 2-3 blank pieces of paper, a pencil and maybe a ruler.
All of these supplies cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $35-40 - including the $20 book.

You'll note that this list does NOT include a sewing machine or a needle and thread. Again, this is sheer sewing-aversion on my part. My bag is sew-free. Yours doesn't have to be. Just substitute "neatly sew a lovely hem" for "glue the shit out of it" and you're good to go. ;)

Or, if you're the sewing type, you should check out this great how-to article at Hungry Panda. I loved the concept of her design, but the thought of all that sewing made me start to hyperventilate.

CHAPTER 1: Remove the cover

Yes, this is absolutely the most painful step - you have to cut the pages from the book. I know! I might have wept a little. I recommend doing it quickly - like ripping off a band-aid.

Use your utility knife to cut through the end paper and stitches holding the cover to the pages. But, carefully, so as not to cut any pages or the spine binding itself. Because we are going to recover that book when we're done, are we not?

Now that your book is naked, take it's measurements: Use blank paper to trace the front and back covers and spine. Then stand the book on it's edge, open it to the width you want your bag to open to, and trace that triangle outline all the way around the book, including a straight line along the front opening.

CHAPTER 2: The Guts: Preparation 

From this article at Wiki-How, I borrowed the idea of using fabric-covered cardboard inserts for the bottom and sides of the bag, to help reinforce the the book/bag and make installation easier:

Cut out two pieces of thin cardboard that are just a little smaller than the front and back covers of your book and one that is just a bit smaller than the spine.

The finished pieces should fit all together inside your book, while it is closed, without going over any of the edges. Check this sizing and then double-check it. And then check it again. THEN, use fabric glue to cover the cardboard with your fabric. 

(As you can see, my craftier-than-I-am friend added some awesome pockets to the lining of her bag. I do love pockets, but they didn't fit into my no-sew agenda, so they got left on the drawing board for this bag. If there's ever a sequel to this project, I'll probably try to add pockets.)

CHAPTER 3: Handles

I went with a single loop handle and attached them to the middle of the bag with one strap for each. You can see on my friend's bag that she went with the half-loop handles that attach to the bag in two places, requiring a total of four straps. There are pros and cons to each, but really it's your preference.

To attach the handles, I cut two long strips of the red fabric I used for the "guts" of the bag and "hemmed" the long edges with fabric glue. (Don't worry about the short edges.)

I just looped the fabric through the handles and glued the bottom part of the fabric securely to each side of the inside of the book cover - making sure that the handles were even with each other vertically and horizontally.

I think this method of using one strap per handle is a little easier than trying to make sure that FOUR handle straps are all even and equidistant. But, again: I'm a lazy crafter. The potential drawback to this method is that the strap sits right in the middle of the purse, so it could get in the way of the ...

CHAPTER 4: Clasp/Closure

A lot of the tutorials I saw used ribbon and a button - one mounted on each side of the bag in the center, to hold the book/purse closed. I liked the concept, but, as I said, my "middle" was kinda taken up by my strap. So, I just moved my button over to one side. I used a satin-covered black button and thin black leather twine that I had on hand, rather than a ribbon.

I threaded the leather through the button, leaving a long tail and secured that to the inside of the book with glue and electrical tape (No, it's not pretty, but it's strong and no one will ever see it.) with the button just poking out over the top of the book. On the opposite cover, I secured a loop of the black leather the same way - again, with just enough poking over the top of the book to be able to hook around the button and hold the bag closed.

One word of advice that I was thankful that my friend shared with me: Check the distance on this closure carefully and use something that has a little "give" for the strap. You want the book to stay closed, but not so tightly that it cuts off your storage space inside. I considered elastic, but I didn't have any on hand to try out. Plus, I liked the black leather. Hey, who doesn't? ;)

CHAPTER 5: Side Panels

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge: This was the hard part. If you have access to another pair of hands, this is the time to call in reinforcements.

I found several slightly different, but all good, methods for doing this online. If it weren't for my severe allergy to sewing, I probably would have used this one at Curbly. But, I did this instead: 

Take that triangle tracing from waaaay up there in Chapter 1 and add about an inch to the sides and a couple of inches to the top. This is the template for cutting out the side panels for your bag.

Double over your fabric and cut a triangle from your template. Glue/hem the two sides of the doubled-over fabric together. Repeat, so that you have two equal-sized side panels.

I stole this idea from Jen Yates at EPBOT: Cut a medium weight plastic (like the kind you'd use for a report cover) into two horizontal strips about 1 inch tall and about an inch shy of the length of the top of your triangles.

Hem (glue) that plastic strip into the top of the fabric and crease it in the middle, so that the point of the crease points to the inside of the bag. This helps the side panels to fold inward, as opposed to outward, when the bag closes.

Glue the bottom point of the triangle to the inside of the spine of the book on one side - carefully checking the height before gluing to make sure the panels reach, but do not go past, the top of the book cover. Ditto on the other side.

Yes, I wish I had taken pictures of this part. But I didn't. Fortunately, Country Living did, for their very excellent tutorial on the subject.

Now take the spine-sized piece of cardboard that you covered in fabric earlier and glue it down on top of the edges of the triangles that you just glued down.(You can wait until step 6 to do this, but I thought doing it now was easier and less messy.)

Glue the long edges of the fabric up along the inside of the book covers.

That is so much harder than it sounds. Seriously, that one sentence does not accurately convey the contortions and cursing required to hold the book open at just the right angle with one hand while simultaneously holding the fabric in place with another hand while gluing the fabric down with another hand. Yes, that's at least three hands - that's my point!

So, learn from my mistakes: Either get another hand or two to help you hold the book in place or put together some kind of contraption to prop the book open at the right angle while you are gluing the sides.


CHAPTER 6: Guts: Installation

Once you've got the side panels glued in place and have let them dry - I took my time and let each side dry a bit before moving on to the next - then it's all down hill from here:

Just take the cardboard "guts" that you covered in fabric earlier and glue them in place to the insides of your bag. I used some paper clamps to hold the insides to the cover while the glue dried, which really doesn't take long.

Voila! You now have a lovely book-bag perfect for every nerdy occasion!

But, wait! There's still one last thing to do:

CHAPTER  7: Re-cover your book!

Unless the pages of the book you used were un-salvageable, you'll want to re-cover them to save the book for actual reading! Don't worry: It's not hard.

I re-covered the pages of my book with cardboard and some light denim fabric I had lying around. It's certainly not as pretty as the original cover. But the pages are protected and readable. :)

EPILOGUE

I know I don't usually do this crafty-mom thing on my blog (or in real life!).

But, I'm so pleased that I was able to make this successfully, that I want to share. Who knows, maybe there's some other book-loving-but-sewing-challenged person out there feeling, as I was, a little intimidated by this particular project.

So, if you want your very own "book bag" - don't be afraid to try it. And absolutely DO post a link to a pic here if you make one of your own!

No, my bag is not "perfect" - but it's mine. I made it. And I had fun making it. And that'd be enough right there to make me love it.

Bonus: It's a gorgeous book cover and I think I did a half-way decent job of transforming into a fun and useful bag. I even took it on it's first outing the other night - to my son's school's "Literacy Night". It seemed a fitting debut. I can't wait to wear it to even more geeky places.

The End,
 
 Zen

20 May 2011

And you people mocked my Zombie Attack Plans

Who's laughing now, eh?

I've been saying for years that waiting until the walking dead are on your doorstep to worry about your armory is just asking to become a brain-buffet. My Zombie Apocalypse motto: Plan ahead!

So, how much do I love the CDC this week:

The Centers for Disease Control: Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

Okay, seriously, this is a hilarious and totally effective marketing strategy on the part of the CDC. The PR-Chick side of my brain is giving them a big ol' standing O for it.

BUT ... the geek side of my brain (which may arguably be the more dominant lobe), is screaming: "Dude, that list is fine for your standard earthquake or tsunami or pandemic, but these are the walking dead we're taking about! You're gonna need more than some jugs of water, a change of clothes and some duct tape!" (Though duct tape IS one of the staples of my own ZAP* Kit .)

Which is where this brilliant bit of journalism - featuring the awesomely funny Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) - comes in:

Washington Post: CDC prepares for Zombie Apocalypse: tips on how to survive

Like Jenny, I believe in being prepared. Which is why we have this little gem on the shelf, right next to the first aid kit.

All due respect to the CDC, if you really want to survive the impending Zombie Apocalypse, I suggest supplementing the CDC's list with a weekend at home with a stack of zombie flicks and a fresh notebook. My personal favorites:

Now, to be honest, some of these are going to offer good and useful advice for the Zombie Apocalypse. Others ... well, you're gonna want to take notes on what NOT to do. I leave figuring out which is which as an exercise for the student.

Your turn: Any movies or books or other study guides that you would add to the list?

Locked and loaded,
Zen

*ZAP: Zombie Attack Plan. Patent Pending.

11 February 2011

You bring the bullets, I'll bring the wine

I've occasionally been accused of having a bit of a bite to my sense of humor. So, it's not really a surprise that my take on Valentine's Day has, in the past, been just a smidge on the sick-and-twisted side.

Let the tradition continue:









 

 



And, finally, because a ZenMom Valentine's Day post is just not complete without Zombies ...


Be Mine,
Zen


P.S. Trooper Thorn over at Dogs and Jeans has a V-Day post I can get behind. ;)

* Images blatantly borrowed from the devilishly brilliant WrongCards and Someecards.

** Post Title: Bullets, byBob Schneider

01 January 2011

Irresolute


It's no secret that I'm not big on making New Year's resolutions. I'm all for goals, but I just don't see any special significance in setting them at the turning of the calendar 

Still, I suppose I do have a few things I'd like to accomplish in 2011. In no particular order, I'd like to:
  • Beat SciFi Dad at Words with Friends. At least once.
  • Earn my Yellow Belt in Kenpo. Maybe even my Orange Belt. 
  • See at least one "grown-up" movie in the theater. This is harder than it sounds. I seriously can't remember the last non-G-Rated movie we went to.
  • Develop a get-out-of-debt plan that doesn't involve faking my own death. 
  • Comment more frequently on my favorite blogs. Which, for some strange reason, are all dad blogs. Is that weird?
  • Write more. Here, yes. But also on my other personal writing projects. Because if I keep focusing only on the writing I get paid for, I'm pretty sure my brain will start to leak out of my ears before midsummer.
  • Read more. Because the pile of books next to my bed is getting tall enough that if it topples over, it could trap or injure a pet or small child. 
  • And, of course, complete that annual update of the old Zombie Survival Plans.
So, do you have any big plans for 2011?

Zen

###

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving the road to hell with them as usual. ~ Mark Twain

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. ~ Henry Moore

 One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs
 

###

12 February 2010

V-Day

Continuing my tradition of irreverent Valentine's Day posts, I present my favorite V-Day e-cards for 2010.

Because Valentine's Day, for me, is just not complete without zombies.


Happy V-Day. ;)

PS: SciFiDad has some pretty funny V-Day E-Cards of his own going on over at his place today. :)

04 January 2010

They're more what you'd call guidelines

There are some things I just don't do. Topping that list: Diets, the Chicken Dance, and New Year's Resolutions.

The first two are pretty self-explanatory, yes? As for New Year's Resolutions, I've always figured if there's something you want to do, just do it. Be here now, right?

And yet, it's the first week of January and it feels like I should acknowledge the new year somehow ...

At first, I was thinking of just recycling last year's resolutions - you know, being all green (and lazy) about it and stuff. Plus, I rather liked that list. And it's still pretty relevant. Besides, don't most people just make the same resolutions over and over again, anyway?

But then I figured if I put my mind to it, I could probably come up with at least 5 new ways to "better" myself in 2010. In addition, of course, to my annual review and update of my Zombie Survival Plans. That's a given.

Mind you, I still don't do "resolutions". These are, to quote a pirate, "more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules."

5) Try to refrain from (openly) mocking people who think the world is going to end Dec. 12, 2012 (or Dec 21, 2012 or whatever the hell it is). (This one's gonna be tough.)

4) Buy fewer things from China. (I was going to say "Stop buying things from China", but I decided to be realistic. That is MUCH harder than it sounds. Seriously. I dare you to try.)

3) Spend more time Hiking the Applachian Trail with my husband. (The ZenHusband has already pledged his strong support for this one. In fact, he suggests it should be #1. Go figure.)

2) Spend less time caring about celebrity scandals and "news". Oh, wait. What's less than zero? Okay, so, scratch that one, then.

2) Spend more time playing. (You should do this, too. Everyone should.)

1) Continue to (try to) follow these "Rules for Life". I do think the world might be a better place if more people lived by these "rules".

RULES FOR LIFE

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's the only way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
20. Never stop learning.

So, what are your guidelines for 2010? 

And, perhaps an even more pressing question: How do you say 2010? Is it Twenty-Ten or Two-Thousand-Ten? Please, discuss.

Peace,
Zen

15 October 2009

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it

October is a rough month for me.

Oh, it's not because October is when things really start to heat up at work. And it's not because the weather starts to turn chilly and I'm a wuss about the cold. It's not even because it's when the deadly Valley fog starts rolling in, making my morning commute a life-threatening activity.

No ... It's the movies.

I love scifi movies, action movies, even a very small handful of whatcha might call "scary movies".

But I HATE "horror movies".

You cannot pay me enough to make me watch movies like Hellraiser or The Ring or The Grudge or The Hills Have Eyes or The Blair Witch Project or those damned ubiquitous Saw movies and the like.

I. Will. Freak. Out.

Urban horror? Slasher flicks? Anything with guys named Freddy or Jason? Fugeddahboutit - I am not watching. I don't even want to see the commercials or trailers for them. And please don't tell me about them.

I am just not constitutionally capable of watching stuff like Paranormal Activity or even The Exorcist.

Do. Not. Want.

The weird thing, though, it that there are "scary" movies that I DO like.

Vampires? Werewolves? Zombies? Space Aliens? ... I'm your gal! All over it!

I love Aliens, Predator, Resident Evil, Evil Dead 2, Dracula, The Mummy, Frankenstein, Shaun of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Dusk til Dawn, Silver Bullet, An American Werewolf in London, Hellboy, Underworld, Hitchcock movies ... hell, I even like the uber-cheesy ones like Dracula 2000, Doom, Ghosts of Mars, Bats and Bubba Ho-Tep.

And Jason X was the notable exception to my "no Jason or Freddy movies" rule. Because it was all scifi and comedic, so I just closed my eyes during the gory parts.

I even like Stephen King's It - Oh, it scared the bejeesus out of me - but I've still seen it five times. Because it had such a great story and such a life-affirming message under all of the OMFG-it's-a-man-eating-clown.

What's the difference? How is it that I can love Zombieland and hate Saw? Where do I draw the line between "horror" movies and "scary" movies?

I dunno. But it's there. Maybe somebody else can 'splain it to me. In the meantime, I will pass on the "horror" movies ... but you can pass the popcorn, please, for Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What about you? Do you like horror movies? Scary movies? Vampires, weres and zombies, oh my?

* Inspired by DaddyGeekBoy, who is a self-proclaimed scary movie wimp. ;)