And you people mocked my Zombie Attack Plans

Who's laughing now, eh?

I've been saying for years that waiting until the walking dead are on your doorstep to worry about your armory is just asking to become a brain-buffet. My Zombie Apocalypse motto: Plan ahead!

So, how much do I love the CDC this week:

The Centers for Disease Control: Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

Okay, seriously, this is a hilarious and totally effective marketing strategy on the part of the CDC. The PR-Chick side of my brain is giving them a big ol' standing O for it.

BUT ... the geek side of my brain (which may arguably be the more dominant lobe), is screaming: "Dude, that list is fine for your standard earthquake or tsunami or pandemic, but these are the walking dead we're taking about! You're gonna need more than some jugs of water, a change of clothes and some duct tape!" (Though duct tape IS one of the staples of my own ZAP* Kit .)

Which is where this brilliant bit of journalism - featuring the awesomely funny Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) - comes in:

Washington Post: CDC prepares for Zombie Apocalypse: tips on how to survive

Like Jenny, I believe in being prepared. Which is why we have this little gem on the shelf, right next to the first aid kit.

All due respect to the CDC, if you really want to survive the impending Zombie Apocalypse, I suggest supplementing the CDC's list with a weekend at home with a stack of zombie flicks and a fresh notebook. My personal favorites:

• Shaun of the Dead
• Zombieland
• Night of the Living Dead (The 1968 original AND 1990 remake)
• Dawn of the Dead
• Resident Evil (And it's sequels)
• Night of the Comet

Now, to be honest, some of these are going to offer good and useful advice for the Zombie Apocalypse. Others ... well, you're gonna want to take notes on what NOT to do. I leave figuring out which is which as an exercise for the student.

Your turn: Any movies or books or other study guides that you would add to the list?

Locked and loaded,
Zen

*ZAP: Zombie Attack Plan. Patent Pending.

Zen's Brain on Drugs: The Rapture Edition!

I'm on cold meds. I hardly ever take cold meds - or, really, almost any kind of meds besides OTC pain relievers. Because they make me all loopy - like light-headed and silly and kinda philosophical and babbly. (Think college freshman after three shots of Tequila.)

On the rare occassions when I DO take meds, I try not operate any heavy machinery - including my blog. Cuz when I do, it usually results in things like this. (Warning, that link is not for the faint of heart.)

But, I've been neglecting the old blog lately, so, I figure a meds-induced babble-fest is better than nothing, right? Hmm. We'll see.

So, compliments of ample parts pseudoephedrine, brompheniramine maleate, dextromethorphan hydrobromide, phenylephrine hydrocholride and probably some other things I can't pronounce - I bring you:

It's the End of the World as we Know It ... Again

Apparently there are people - as in plural ... as in more than one ... as in several, even* - who actually believe they are going to be physically transported to Heaven this Saturday.

Seriously? No. Really. Seriously?!?!

I've been vacillating between "so stupid it's not even worth mentioning" and "What the Flagnar?!" on this all week.

Because, on the one hand, it's too ridiculous to even be worth talking about, right? But, on the other, it kind of makes me LOL - especially when I read things like this:

Christopher Moore: "Hey, the rapture falls on a Saturday! How cool is that. I guess I won't be driving. Not early in the day, anyway. Later in the day, I will probably be driving a really nice car with some fish bumper stickers and shit on it. Give a little time to scrape them off."

But, on another hand (Shut up, I might have three hands. You don't know. I told you I'm on drugs!) ... it also makes me kinda sad. That people are that ... I dunno, desperate, deluded, divorced from reality? ... that they seriously believe not only that their god is going to beam them up to heaven a la Star Trek, but that some random radio personality from Oakland has "cracked the code" (like their god is some kind of hobby cryptographer fucking around with his lab rats by planting random clues about the location of their cheese) and can tell them exactly when it's going to happen. Again. Because, you know, he got it wrong the first time - as did, well, everyone who has ever predicted the end of the world. But, hey, that was a just a math error - could happen to anyone! But this time, he's sure.

Okay, I'm back to "What the Flagnar?!" again.

But I have to seriously wonder: What does a True Believer do on the day after the last day, when the world just keeps on keepin' on? I have to admin, that thought kinda scares me.

See you Sunday,
Zen

* You know what the best part of this particular lil' rant is? If I'm wrong, the people who would could say "I told you so" won't be around to do so.

Our lives are made In these small hours

Oh, this is a lovely reminder that life is made of moments.



"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." ~ Buddha

Not taking it for granted,
Zen

* Post Title: Little Wonders, Rob Thomas

Nil illegitimi carborundum

So, I created a personal coat of arms.
Because that's the kind of thing Photoshop geeks do for fun.

This is hanging in my office, now. No, seriously. I framed it and everything. 

It's on my wall with a collection of other black-and-white "art", next to this one:

 and this one:

Wanna take bets on how long it will take someone to Google the dog-Latin motto in the middle and I'll have to take it down? ;)

Pax et Lux,

Zen

Wonder Woman FAIL

Dear David E.Kelly:

I'm suddenly very glad that I DON'T currently have television programming at my home.

Because, if I did, I'd probably have to watch this heinous interpretation of the costume of one of my favorite super heroines prance across my 38 inch TV. In Hi-Def. And that might just burn my retinas out.

I'm okay with the pants idea - and the semi-sensible heel on the boots is alright. But those are just about the only nice things I can say about this ... outfit.

Head-to-toe (or, in this case, breast-to-toe) shiny latex?! Really?! That is just hideous. It looks like she was dressed by a fetishist. Seriously, she looks all lubed up. And not in a good way.

And can she even move in that thing? Hell, can she even breathe? I get that it has to be all tight and sexy, 'cuz that's what people expect in a superhero costume. And I admit the bustier is Canon. But there's no way in hell she could actually do anything heroic in that top except stand very still while other Justice League members feel her up.

I'm pretty sure if she raised her arms to actually throw that lasso on her hip, her boobs would pop right out the top like one of those snakes-in-a-peanut-brittle-cans. Not to mention the fact that she can forget about sneaking up on any villains since she's going to sound like a balloon animal convention every time she moves.

So, I guess the target audience here is ... what? ... horny basement geeks and slutty co-eds?

You know, David, it's hard enough for a Geek Girl to find a decent Super Heroine to look up to, ya know? And you go and take one of the good ones and make her look like a cheap whore.

Nice. Thanks.

Just so you know? Joss would never have done this.

Disappointed,

Zen

No TV and no beer make Homer something something

Brace yourself, kids, I have a big confession to make:

I have no TV.

Well, to be specific, I do have a television (and great big HD LCD, in point of fact), but I have no television programming. And I haven't had it since last June, when we canceled our DirecTV subscription. Because we are too lazy not motivated enough to get a roof antenna, we don't even have "local" channels.

I know, right?! The HORROR!

But you know what?

*whispers* It's not that bad.

Wait,I know what you're thinking: How can a self-professed pop culture and scifi geek such as myself have possibly have survived so long without TV?!?!

How have I not gone all Jack Torrance and started chasing down the neighbors with an axe?! How have I managed to keep from cutting my co-workers' hearts out with spoons?! How is it that no bunnies have ended up in soup pots?

Quick, before the TV people come breaking down my door with their flashy thingies and force-feed me Retcon - let me let you in on a little secret: Between our Netflix Instant steaming video and the full-length episodes of many of my favorite shows that are available online (not to mention our own extensive DVD collection), we've hardly missed our satellite programming at all!

Sure, there are a few shows we miss. But, the truth is, we got used to the change pretty quickly.

Ha! So there, satellite TV company! Take that TV advertisers! We don't need no stinkin' TV programming! Not us! We are unplugged, man ... we are free ... we are ...

Wait, WHAT?!?!

AT&T To Cap DSL Internet Data Usage At 150GB

Guh-wha?! But I ... You can't ... I need ... What the Flagnar?! Noooooooo!

If you need me, I'll be the one in the fetal position under the coffee table frantically Googling alternative ISPs.

Zen

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair

I took a a couple of lovely walks in a couple of lovely places this weekend ... with my camera.

If that didn't bore you to death, you can check out
more photos on my Flickr Photostream.

 Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet
and the winds long to play with your hair. 

~Kahlil Gibran
 

Zen